This Is For You Dad

My Daughter's blog today addresses issues of depression, both hers and my profound sadness, a little of what it was like to be my daughter and her encouragement to me to seek Joy. It's a touching read and I hope you'll take the time to see for yourself.

Thank you Daughter: I love you, Dad


I was originally going to just e-mail this to my father but he has decided to go though the gift we gave in publicly on his blog.

So a little of back story. Depression is a terrible thing. I have struggled with bouts of it. Where I am tired, and apathetic and nothing seems to be important, or matter,or make me happy and the worst part of it for me is that I don't feel like this is a bad thing, because nothing really seems to matter. I just want to read and sleep. Reading takes me out of my world where nothing matters into a place where things do and people feel. The first time this hit me after we were married I did not realize how much it had altered my behavior until I saw how much it worried my husband. My depression is very manageable. Control stress, eat well, get enough sleep and I am usually fine.

My father has a much harder time managing what he calls his "profound sadness." Its hard to be the child of someone who rarely seem happy with you. I mean my dad did everything he could to let us know he loved us and he was proud of us. He never missed a single track meet. But there was the underlying current that none of this was enough to be happy. As an adult I understand this much better and as a child I don't think I was aware of it as it was pretty much a constant, but it makes my heart break for him. So I put together a little appointment style calendar with bible verses, questions, and random acts of kindness that I hoped would help him discover how to choose to be joyful even when sadness seems to be the only real option. You see it is my belief that joy is different than happiness. Joy is one of the fruit of the spirit according to the list in Galatians. This means Joy comes from God. It is something that is there despite, or perhaps regardless of circumstances something you can choose to have if you only reach out for it.
Read the rest of my daughter's blog at:

http://homegrownstrawberries.blogspot.com/2012/12/you-still-need-cough-suppressant.html#more


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Today's Been a Hard One

     The actual instructions in my Year of Living Joyfully journal say, "Joy is something that is hard to find all the time the way we should. It seems to come and go with happiness and circumstances. It is our hope that you will always choose Joy. Take time every day to remember your blessings and how great a God we serve and record at least one thing that brings you joy each day."

     Today's been one of those days when unhappy circumstances have made seeing something in which to take Joy difficult. You know, it's been one of "those" days - tough parenting situations, rude drivers, plans that refused to fall into place, and yucky weather. It's been a day when it would easy too let melancholy overtake me or else try to escape into earthly pleasures. But I know that neither of things are a good idea.

     So finding Joy today is going to take some intentional effort - but that's what this project is all about, being intentional about finding Joy and putting some work into it when necessary. (Doesn't that sound oxymoronic - working at finding Joy? But maybe it's not. Something to think about.)

     First I went to one of my favorite Psalms and was reminded that we are invited to "taste and see that the LORD is good! [And that], blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" (Psalm 34:8). That's something to feel good about - God is good to us and will bless us if we take refuge in Him.

     Then I thought about my friend Nik who is having a birthday today. I don't get see Nik as often as I would like, but every time I do he puts a smile on my face, as do my memories and thoughts of him. So that's something I can take Joy in.

     Next I looked across the room and saw my wife sitting there and remember how much she loves me and how committed she is to my good. What a blessing she is to me.

     Finally, I remembered that even though I had several frustrating experiences today they weren't all frustrating. Several of the plans I had for today did actually work out. I think I'll choose to remember those that did work out and not think about the things that didn't.

     I do have some things to record in journal that brought me Joy today.This does kind of work.

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Today I found Joy In ........

Part of my Year of Living Joyfully project is to look for something every day that brings me Joy.

Today I found Joy in having lunch with a very good friend.

Thank you Michael.

Joy - Our Deepest Desire

            In yesterday’s blog post I shared that in 2013 I’m going to attempt A Year of Living Joyfully. As a Christmas gift my daughter gave me a year long plan of Bible verses to meditate upon and projects to do that will point me toward Joy. I also shared that as a life-long sufferer from profound sadness (depression?) I was looking forward to see if this pursuit of Joy might turn out to be the antidote for which I’ve always longed.

            As I prepare for the official kick off of A Year of Living Joyfully next week on January 1 I’m spending this week thinking about Joy. What is it? Why is important? Is there something to Joy that’s more profound than just “feeling good?” Here are a couple of things I came across yesterday.

C.S. Lewis, in his book Surprised by Joy, wrote that Joy is “an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction." Lewis used Joy in a very specific sense. He did not think of Joy as just a synonym happiness, as many of us do. For him Joy was the deepest of all desires that could never be satisfied by any of the pleasures of this world – it as an other-worldly quality that can only be satisfied by an intimate encounter with God.

Another way of looking at it is that the desire for Joy was hardwired into humans at the time of our creation. It is part of being in the Image of God that our deepest longings are not for this world but are for God.

The 13^th Century theologian Thomas Aquinas wrote something similar, “Man cannot live without joy.” The desire for Joy is part of what it means to be human. But Aquinas also went on with the profound observation that when people do not find Joy from their relationship with God, then are then prone to start searching for Joy from the things of the world, things that can never really satisfy. “When man is deprived is true spiritual joys it is necessary that he become addicted to carnal pleasures.”

I know exactly what Aquinas was saying. As I’ve previously written, in my best moments, I’ve tried to treat my sadness with a variety of positive means – nutrition, exercise, meditation, spiritual disciplines, counseling, and medication. But there have been many times, when the sadness as been unbearable, in some of my worst moments, when I have turned to “carnal pleasures” in an attempt to escape – food, drink, unhealthy relationships, entertainment, to name a few. The results have almost always been dreadful.

This desire, no more than that, this need for Joy is not optional. It is a God-given thing designed to drive people, to drive me, toward him. Other things will not satisfy, not for long. It is the way people and the world were designed from the beginning. Ultimate Joy is only found him.

These are some of my thoughts today about what real Joy is and where it is found. What do you think about Joy?

 

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Check out this Christmas Dinner story from Tony at That Is All

http://thatisallpage.blogspot.com/2012/12/lets-say-grace.html

A Year of Living Joyfully

     As I've previously shared on this blog, I suffer from sadness. For as long as I can remember a deep and profound sadness has doggedly followed me. I've never known if it was because I was simply born with a melancholy personality or if what I have is actual clinical depression. I've tried all kinds of things over the years to treat my sadness from changing my diet to increasing how much exercise I get to various therapies with different counselors to medications. Though many of these things have helped some, the sadness always returns.

     This year for Christmas my older daughter and her family gave me a gift that just might make 2013 a different experience for me. She gave me "A Year of Living Joyfully."
  
     Joy is an antidote for sadness. Joseph Campbell said that joy will burn out pain and that includes the pain of depression. Of course I've known that for sometime. But how does one remain joyful when all you feel is sad? I've never known. Charles Kuralt said that joy in our lives is often hard to find and look hard for it. I've never known where to look. My daughter has given me a very practical way to not only look for Joy but to find it.

     How did she do it? She took a 2013 calendar and went throughout the year scheduling Bible verses to read and little projects to do that will point me toward Joy. She also encouraged me to take time each day to find something that gives me Joy and record it in the calendar like a journal. I think these are great ideas. In fact, I think that these ideas are so great I've decided to write about them here on this blog. I hope that you will you join me here and follow along for A Year of Living Joyfully?

     Even though the project doesn't officially begin until January 1, I can't help myself from jumping the gun and starting early. So what's one thing that gives me Joy today?

     Having a daughter that loves me enough to give me A Year of Living Joyfully.

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Sandy Hook Massacre - Where Was God? (Part 3)

 

Many of us are still reeling from the recent Sandy Hook Massacre. The murder of 20 five and six year old children along with six of their teachers as caused many people to ask questions about God; how could he have let something like this happen?

The Bible says that God is all-knowing and all-powerful, which means that he must know how to end evil and suffering and that he is able to do so. The Bible also says that he is perfectly good which means that he surely would want to end evil and suffering. So, how could he let such an unthinkable horror happen? Clearly he could have stopped Adam Lanza. Why didn’t he?

In my last two blog posts I discussed what has been called the theological or philosophical problem of evil. In sum, skeptics of religion say that it is impossible to reconcile the Bible’s claims that God is all-knowing, all-powerful and perfectly good with the continuing presence of evil and suffering in the world. The horrible events at Sandy Hook shine a spotlight on what is a continual problem. If God really is as the Bible describes would have the knowledge and ability to end suffering and would certainly want to do so. The undisputed fact that he does not end evil and suffering can only mean that either the Bible is wrong - he is not able to end evil and suffering, which means he is weak - or he chooses not to end evil and suffering when he could, which makes him a monster.

This is a difficult problem. That’s why it’s been called the Achilles Heal of religion. I’m not, in this blog post, going to attempt to provide a wholly satisfying answer to the problem. And, I’m not, here, going to suggest how to help someone suffering from the effects of evil. My purpose here is to answer the philosophical issue. A good resource for someone looking for practical help in dealing with suffering is the book The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis.

To defeat the skeptic’s argument against God based on the existence of evil we don’t need an answer for every instance of evil and suffering. After all we are not God and as the Bible tells us, his ways are not our ways. We will never fully understand why God does what he does. To defeat the argument against God all that is required is to see that could be good reasons for allowing evil. The argument against God hinges on the assertion that a good God with the ability to eliminate evil and suffering would always want to do so. All we have to see that God could have a good reason for evil. So, is there a good reason for evil?

Theologians and philosophers have suggested a number of possible good or beneficial reasons for the existence of evil. In this blog post I’m only going to consider the two reasons that most often put forward to explain evil.

            God wants men and women to have free will, to be free to make choices choose good over evil. If people are compelled to do good contrary to their free choice they are, at best, merely robot-like going through the motions of doing what is right. At worst they would be dishonest.

If that is true, that people must have the freedom to choose good, then they must also have the freedom to choose evil. Otherwise there is not real choice. C. S. Lewis put it this way, “The freedom of a creature must mean freedom to choose: and choice implies the existence of things to choose between.” It is from this ability to choose between good and evil that all instances of actual evil have come.  Pain and suffering, all of which result from evil choices, are then a necessary consequence of the freedom of choice that God has given to people. In order to have a world in which men and women are able to make choices of true significance then there must be evil, and if there is evil there must be pain and suffering. There is no other option. God has determined that freewill for his creatures is a morally sufficient reason for the existence of pain and suffering. Thus, the argument that an all-knowing, all-powerful and perfectly good God would never permit pain and suffering is defeated.

No pain – no gain. That’s the basic idea of seeing evil as necessary for personal growth. None of us is fully developed. We all need to grow. Suffering can give us opportunities to show courage as we face it without fleeing. When we see others suffer our hearts can grow in compassion and kindness and we can learn to care for others. The pain and suffering that comes from evil can provide these and many other opportunities to grow and become better people. Of course going through pain and suffering is not pleasant, but it is necessary for our good. God uses evil to mold us into better people. This, some say, is a sufficiently good reason for God to allow evil and the argument that God would never allow evil is defeated.

 

Admittedly, many people will find these arguments to be not very satisfying. They do not take away the pain we feel because of evil. They don't tell us why in the specific case of Sandy Hook why God thought it was a good thing to let Adam Lanza carry out his horrible, murderous plan. However, the thoughtful person will see that the mere existence of evil does not mean that God cannot exist or that he cannot really be all-knowing, all-powerful and perfectly good. There can be beneficial reasons for the existence of evil.

That is all. ™: The Color Purple

That is all. ™: The Color Purple: We were in Wal-Mart picking up some last minute things for our trip to the Bahamas.   Trixie and our youngest daughter, Sugar, were check...

Sandy Hook Massacre - Where Was God? (Part 2)

Does the Sandy Hook Massacre really add more evidence to the case against God? Or, perhaps, is there some deeper truth at work here?

The horrific events at Sandy Hook School on  December 7^th, the slaughter of 26 people, 20 of them five and six year old children, by Adam Lanza, has once again caused many to question either the goodness of God or even if he exists at all. How could God have allowed such a dreadful and outrageous thing to happen?

As I wrote in my last post, many consider this issue, the problem of reconciling a supposedly all-knowing, all-powerful and completely good God with the existence of evil, to be the Achilles’ Heal of religion. Many thoughtful people have looked at this issue and decided there is no way to make all of the Bible’s claims about God fit with what they observe in real life. It’s logically impossible, they think. Given the amount of pain and suffering in the world it has to be that either the Bible is wrong about what it says who God is or else there is no God, he doesn’t exist.

Skeptics have often used this issue to “prove” that God does not exist and that Christianity is a fraud. The Bible says that God is omniscient (all-knowing), omnipotent (all-powerful) and omnibenevolent (perfectly good). If that’s true then it is reasonable, they say, to conclude that God would eliminate evil and the suffering that accompanies it. Wouldn’t you stop your friends from suffering if you could? But God doesn’t end evil or suffering. So the only reasonable conclusion is that God is not omniscient, or not omnipotent, or not omnibenevolent, that is, he is not the God described in the Bible, or else he doesn’t really exist.

According to this thinking, the problem of pain and suffering proves that there is not and cannot be a God who is all-knowing, all-powerful and perfectly good.  Even the famous Christian thinker and writer, C.S. Lewis, wrote in his book The Problem of Pain, “If you ask me to believe that this is the work of a benevolent and omnipotent spirit, I reply that all the evidence points in the opposite direction. Either there is no spirit behind the universe, or else a spirit indifferent to good and evil, or else an evil spirit.”

            In the book 50 Philosophy Ideas You Really Need to Know, Ben Dupre cited four examples of horrible suffering: the 1984 – 1985 famine in Ethiopia that “caused over one million people to starve agonizingly to death;” an October 2005 earthquake in Pakistan that killed 75,000, injured over 100,000 and left 3 million homeless; the account of an “animal-loving, baseball playing” seven-year-old from Michigan, a good kid who never harmed anyone, who died in January 2007 from an inoperable malignant tumor that destroyed his brainstem; and the case of nine-year-old Jessica Lunsford from Florida who in February 2005 was kidnapped, raped and murdered by a convicted sex offender. Dupre then concludes:

Famine, murder, earthquake, disease – millions of people’s futures blighted, young lives needlessly snuffed out, children left orphaned and helpless, agonizing deaths of young and old alike. If you could click your fingers and stop this catalogue of misery, you would have to be a heartless monster not to do so. Yet there is supposed to be a being that could sweep it all aside is an instant, a being that is unlimited in its power, knowledge and moral excellence: God. Evil is everywhere, but how can it exist side by side with a god who has, by definition, the capacity to put an end to it?

If God exists, the only rational thing we can believe about him, according to Dupre, is that he is a heartless monster. If not a heartless monster, then he must be either too ignorant or too weak to do what the right thing for people. A better, or at least a more palatable, conclusion is that he is not there; there is no God.

That’s the philosophical problem of evil and suffering. Many think it’s a pretty convincing argument against the existence of God and the Christian faith.  If that’s so then the tragic events at the Sandy Hook School merely pile up more evidence against God. But, perhaps, things are not as they seem. Perhaps there are deeper truths that show how it is that God not only exists but he is in fact omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent, just as the Bible says, and that he has good reasons for allowing evil.

That’s what I’ll consider in the next and final installment of “The Sandy Hook Massacre – Where Was God?”

The Sandy Hook Massacre - Where Was God?

            What happened to God last Friday when Adam Lanza forced his way into the Sandy Hook School? Was he asleep or distracted? Did he miss what Lanza was about to do? Why didn’t he stop it? How could God allow such an unspeakable evil? I thought he was good and kind.

            Whenever there is a tragedy like the Sandy Hook massacre there are people who wonder, “How could God let this happen?” It is a difficult question that can lead to a crisis of faith. It is hard to believe in God in face of such unspeakable evil.

            The problem of reconciling the existence of evil with the Bible’s portrayal of an all-knowing, all-loving and all-powerful God is not a new one. It has been called the Achilles’ heal of religion. Some say there is no way to reconcile these things and the only reasonable conclusion is that God does not exist. I've thought about these things for years and am going to take several posts here at Heart Matters to explore the question.

            For centuries thoughtful people have contemplated this issue and decided that either the Bible is wrong in the way it describes God or that God doesn’t exist. Their conclusion is that Christianity is a fraud and Christians are fools.  Even for those who continue to believe and embrace the Bible’s teachings about God this issue can cause serious obstacles resulting in serious doubts about his love and goodness.

Here’s the issue:

·         The Bible says that God knows all things; he is omniscient. The writer of Job said that God is “perfect in knowledge” (Job 37:16) and in the Psalms it says that God’s “understanding has no limit” (Psalm 147:5b), it is limitless. If it’s true that God’s knowledge is limitless and perfect, then that means that God is always aware when people suffer, he knows the depth of their pain and he knows how to prevent evil.

·         The Bible says that God is all-powerful; he is omnipotent. God said through the prophet Jeremiah, “I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” implying that there isn’t anything too hard for him. And, in the same verse in Psalms where we’re told of God’s limitless knowledge, it says, “Great is our Lord and mighty in power” (Psalm 147:5a). If it’s true that God is mighty in power and that nothing is too hard for him, then that means that he is able to stop evil.

·         The Bible says that God is perfectly good; he is omnibenevolent. David wrote of God that he is “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all that he has made” (Psalm 145:8-9).  The apostle John wrote that the reason people should love one another is because “God is love” (1 John 4:8). John did not just say that God loves, but that he is love. Love is the very essence of who he is. If it’s true that God is love, acts in love, is gracious, compassionate and good to all, then it follows that he would want to end evil and suffering.

But he doesn’t. Not only doesn’t he prevent evil when he could, he has created and sustains a world in which evil and suffering is often horrific. He could have stopped Adam Lanza at Sandy Hook. But he didn’t. How can anyone believe that God is loving, powerful and knowing when he stands by and does nothing while 20 little children and their teachers are slaughtered? Let’s explore this together. Check back in a few days for another post.

 

Hope for Holiday Depression

One of the songs you often hear during this season says that this is the “most wonderful time of the year.” For many people it is. Lights and parties and decorated trees and presents make this for them a festive and joyous time. But like a pack of wolves stalking prey on a cold winter night, just on the edge of all that seasonal happiness, for some of us there lurks a frightful foe, an enemy of our soul – depression. 

Polly Toynbee wrote that “One in six people suffer depression or a chronic anxiety disorder… severe mental pain with conditions crippling enough to prevent them living normal lives.” During the holidays that number increases. For those of us afflicted with depression this time of year is often anything but wonderful. I write “those of us” because I too am a sufferer. 

Ed Welch of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation called depression a stubborn darkness. Winston Churchill, another sufferer, called it his black dog. We depressed people can feel sad, anxious, worthless, and guilty. When I’m depressed what I most often feel is hopeless. And, when one has no hope it’s very hard to even think of, much less plan for, a future. Psychologist Rollo May said that depressed people are incapable of conceiving of a future. 

If you think that you might be depressed but are not sure check out the symptoms of depression at this website: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-symptoms-and-types 

So what can a depressed person do when the “black dog” is upon him? Can a hopeless person find hope? I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I have found hope from another fellow sufferer – David. 

In Psalm 6 David wrote about his own experience with depression. He wrote that he was languishing (verse 2) and greatly troubled (verse 3). He said that he was weary from moaning and that he had wept so much he soaked his bed (verse 6). Yes, David knew what it was to be depressed. 

David did find hope however. He found it by calling out to God, reaching out to and trusting in him. By the end of Psalm 6 David is trusting that God has heard his plea and accepted his prayers. Help is on the way. He knew that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those whose spirit has been crushed (Psalm 34:18). That’s what I have to be true as well. 

I’ve tried many things when I’ve been depressed. I’ve been to numerous counselors, I’ve tried various therapies, I’ve used medications. All have helped some. But nothing has helped more than calling out to God. He is the lover of my soul. He rescues me not only from my sin but also from my enemy depression. He can and he does lift my spirit like no one and nothing else can.

When things seem bleak and dark to me at this time of year it is a great help to remember that he is not only the reason for this season but he is the one who is near by and will get us through.