What’s the one thing you want more than anything else? Fame?
Fortune? A great tennis backhand? For most people, what they want more than
anything else is to feel loved and wanted.
It is something that I longed for all of my life. But for
most of my life the longing was never totally fulfilled. Then one day I read a
story about Jesus that caused everything to change for me. It was a story that
I had read many times before, but this time something about it penetrated deep
into my heart and soul in a way it never had before. Which story? The story of
Jesus cleansing the leper in Mark chapter 1.
And a leper came to
him, imploring him, and kneeling said to him, “If you will, you can make me
clean.” Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand and touched him and said to
him, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made
clean (Mark 1:40-42).
That time that I read this story I was at one of the lowest
points of my life. I was feeling acutely aware of my sin, aware of how I had
let down people who loved me and depended on me, aware of how far short I’d
fallen from the life of righteousness that God requires and deserves from me. I
remember feeling like I’d been soaked in filth, like I was covered with open
oozing sores.
Then I read that story.
Leprosy was a terrible, incurable disease. Having it made someone
unclean and the law forbid him from contact with other people. Lepers were not
allowed to live in towns. They had to live in camps outside the city. If for any
reason a leper had to come into town he was required to shout “Unclean!
Unclean!” to warn others to stay away. What do you think that did to someone’s self-image?
It was a terrible existence. No one was more unloved and unwanted
than were lepers. Imagine going through your life like that. No one loves you, no
one wants you. And if ever you happened to come close to someone they would recoil
at even the thought of accidentally brushing up against you. Horrible.
That’s how I felt. Not physically. But emotionally and spiritually, I felt a leper. I felt unclean and untouchable.
Then I read this passage. Jesus wasn’t repelled by this
man’s leprosy. He wasn’t disgusted. He didn’t turn away from him, as I felt
people did with me.
Then I noticed, as if for the first time, what Jesus did. He
moved toward the man and he touched him.
Jesus wasn't compelled to touch him in order to heal him.
Though he did so many times, Jesus didn’t have to touch people to heal them.
All he had to do was say a word and the man would have been cleansed.
Jesus could have said, “Okay, now you just keep your
distance over there while I clean you up first.” Jesus could have backpedaled
away from him while saying, “be clean” and the man would have been cleansed.
But, that’s not what Jesus did. Jesus knew it had been a long time since anyone
had come near this man or touched him. Jesus wasn't just interested in healing
the man, he wanted to love him.
So the first thing Jesus did was he moved toward him and
touched him. Even before he healed him, he touched him.
The moment I read those words something popped open in my
heart. I saw that I was the leper. I was covered with oozing sores of sin that
caused people to turn away from me. But that didn’t matter to Jesus. He was
saying to me, “I am not repelled by you. I love you and I accept you just as you
are. You don’t have to change anything for me. I come to you. I embrace you. I
love you.”
Jesus loved me just as I was, sin and all. He wanted me. That’s
grace. That’s the gospel.
Of course, he didn’t leave me the way I was. Just as Jesus
didn’t leave the leper in his leprosy but made him well, Jesus has been making
me well ever since. But I have never again, since that day, ever felt like
there was no one who loved me and accepted me. I know that whatever else
happens, Jesus does.
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